By the end of September, many families are breathing easier as the school routine begins to feel familiar again. Yet for separated parents, the start of a new school year is often less about relief and more about navigating a fresh set of difficulties.
This article is written by Andrew Wood, Associate and Head of Family Law at Waldrons Solicitors. Andrew helps parents resolve disputes about child arrangements, divorce, and separation with a focus on practical, child-centred outcomes.
The first hurdles after separation
In the weeks and months following separation, parents may find disagreements arise over matters such as:
- Which school a child should attend or move on to
- Requests for holidays that take a child out of school
- The impact of after-school or extracurricular activities on parenting time.
These challenges are often heightened if no court order is in place. For many parents, particularly in the early stages of separation, raw emotions can overshadow rational thought. What feels urgent or fair to the adult can take priority over what is truly in the child’s best interests.
The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass) reminds us that “the welfare of the child must be the court’s paramount consideration” when arrangements are made (Cafcass – Divorce and Separation). Yet, as Andrew notes, it is not necessarily the case that either parent is intentionally acting against the child’s best interests, rather, their judgement can be clouded by the intensity of the situation.
The myth of equal time
One of the biggest sticking points for separated parents is the assumption that children should spend equal amounts of time with each parent. While this may appear to be a fair outcome, in reality the practicalities and the potential upheaval for the child are often overlooked.
During the week, children spend most of their time at school. The parent caring for them then often finds their role consumed by school runs, meals, homework, and clubs. This leaves little space for what might be considered “quality time.”
At weekends, the reverse often applies. Many parents want to spend every weekend with their child, believing this maximises quality time. But this approach can exclude the other parent from valuable opportunities. The Department for Education highlights that stability and balance are critical for children after family changes (DfE – Children’s social care).
The importance of weekends and siblings
Common sense shows that weekends and holidays provide the most natural time for parents to build meaningful experiences with their children, free from school or work pressures. This is particularly important if there are half-siblings or step-siblings involved. Time spent together on weekends helps these relationships develop and flourish, giving children a sense of belonging across both households.
Seeing beyond the conflict
It is not easy for parents to step outside of their own emotions and view the situation objectively. Yet doing so is essential. The NSPCC reminds parents that children need stability, security, and consistent care to thrive (NSPCC – Separation and Divorce).
Andrew Wood concludes: “As we move through the first few weeks of the new school year, many parents are already feeling the strain of balancing routines, expectations and emotions. The challenge is to put the child and only the child at the forefront of decision-making. That means focusing less on equal time and more on what works best for their wellbeing and stability. At Waldrons, we support parents in finding clarity, balance and workable solutions.”
How Waldrons can help
If you are facing difficulties with co-parenting arrangements, our experienced Family Law team can provide tailored advice and support. Whether you need guidance on child arrangement orders, school disputes, or simply want to understand your options, we are here to help you put your child’s best interests first.
Contact Waldrons Solicitors today on 01384 811 811 or visit our Family Law page to speak with one of our supportive legal expert.
